What is your opinion about the quality of parenting in American society?
Posted on | January 26, 2010 |
I have noticed mixed signals all the time from different studies on parenting. Some say parenting has gone down and this is one reason family values have decreased. Others say single parents are teaching children more about life’s struggles. Some say the system is giving kids too much power so parents are afraid to discipline their child.
Provide your opinion about the quality of parents in American society in today’s world.
Category: Parenting Questions
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3 Responses to “What is your opinion about the quality of parenting in American society?”
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January 26th, 2010 @ 5:36 am
This is a tough, but good question. I could do a very extensive research paper on this subject. First of all, let me preface my response by saying that I am not referring to every parent-child situation out there; my response is more a general one in reference to the "problems" with the quality of parenting today.
Somehow, parents have gotten the idea that a family should be child-centered and that they should always appease their children. They try to be friends to their children rather than establishing the parent-child roles. And then they wonder why their child has no respect for them or for others.
My approach to parenting is to teach her skills that will help to ensure her a great future. I don’t teach manners as a power struggle, but rather as a way for her to show and earn respect to and from others. I’ve heard parents argue with their child to say things like "No, ma’am", "Yes, sir", etc…and when the kid finally says it, it is not out of respect but because they have to say it. With any life skills (like manners) that I teach my daughter, I explain to her the reason behind it. And sometimes I’m hard on her (especially when it comes to school), but she will hopefully thank me in the long run. Many parents don’t do this. Yes, most parents want their children to succeed, but they also depend on society, the schools, and other authority figures to give them the tools for their success. Parents have become lazy, or they lack follow through. If you want your kids to make good grades in school, explain the reasons why.
Another problem is kids are not allowed to be kids anymore. Kids are either loaded down with so many extracurricular activities that they barely have time to eat, sleep, go to school, do homework, relax a little, do chores, have some social time and most of all quality family time. Or they aren’t involved in anything, so all they do is sit in front of a computer, tv, video game, etc…and they become overweight and unmotivated.
On the disciplining thing: You can’t be afraid of your kids. Ask questions. Get in their business. It’s your job as a parent. From the beginning, you have to let your kids know exactly what you expect from them. In the same, parents must balance out the disciplining with love and the willingness to listen to their kids. I know that there are cases out there where children have called the authorities on their parents, and the parents are perfectly good parents doing everything right. But for the most part, if a child is brought up in the right way (whatever that is), then getting the system involved shouldn’t even cross their mind. There are many ways to discipline a child with love and without it appearing to be any type of misconduct. Different things work for different kids at different times, for different circumstances. You also have to be thick skinned when it comes to parenting. You must stand your ground and don’t let the guilt eat at you. Kids will push your buttons when they know your weak points.
I’ve been a single parent for many years. I think any life circumstance is an opportunity to be a good role model for your kids. There can be just as many struggles for 2 parent households as their are for single parent households. What is more important is to show the child the right way to handle those struggles. As a single mom, I have different struggles than what a mother with a husband will have. Both scenarios can be positive and/or negative; it’s just how the situation is handled.
I do believe that today’s society has a huge impact on children and today’s family. "Sex, drugs and rock n roll" is definitely a big part of everyday life, even in very subtle ways. There are movies out there that have PG ratings that should be rated PG-13 or higher. There are all types of innuendos on tv and the radio, etc…You try to shield your kids from it all, but it’s hard. Instead, you just have to keep an open line of communication with your kids about everything and teach them right from wrong. Embarrassing subjects will come up, but you still have to be as honest as you can depending on the child’s age. And again, parents cannot be afraid of their children. Parents are their children’s line of defense in this world, so, they need to act like it. Also, when subjects do come up, full disclosure on the parent’s part is not necessary; remember we don’t have to be their buddy.
Family values have changed. Now everyone is in a hurry, or they are constantly mult-tasking in every aspect of their lives. Unfortunately, children are the ones who get lost in the shuffle and usually become part of the shuffle.
I do think the quality of parenting has lessened, but I also believe that most parents are doing the best they can. In today’s society, people are bombarded by so much in the world, and so many do’s and dont’s that it’s difficult to know what the solutions are. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be so m
January 26th, 2010 @ 5:36 am
What you say is true, So what’s up? First, Family court judges, supreme court judges and Liberal politicians have taken away the power from parents and placed it on the children, Kids can now sue there parents etc. Second, the breakdown of the Family has thrown society into chaos, there are more and more single parent households today then ever before, Men must step up and be Men, leaders and roll models. When I grew up we had family, Mother, Father, Grandparents, aunt’s uncles, cousins, Divorce was very unlikely, we drew together for love and friendship, incorporated Traditions and values. Schools taught the lessons and parents backed them up. Respect was given to law inforcement, etc
The ME generation wants self gratification, Yes it’s gotten to the point that a Parent cannot disciplin there own child without a policeman knocking on the door, it’s a shame and a Crime.
January 26th, 2010 @ 5:36 am
Parents have little to say about how their children act today. A parent is unable to discipline their children without getting into trouble - children are fed nothing but violence, sex, and greed through the media and do-gooders - children are not able to understand honor of the law, country, parents, teachers. Children are motivated by the media of today and are allowed to make choices in life that they are incapable of understanding.